Our Deepest Fear: What Prevents Men From Connecting With Women?

ARTICLE, Communication & Conversation, Confidence, Understanding Women & Attraction
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In the first article, we began with understanding our fear of rejection.  Accepting the reality of rejection is the first step to overcoming that fear.

But why are we afraid of rejection?  Where does it come from?

Let’s go back to a familiar scenario:

You’re standing at a bar.  Next to you are two beautiful women you’d like to get to know.

Maybe you don’t like bars and you’re sitting at a coffee shop, where an amazing woman is reading a book right across from you.

Wanting to make a connection, you rack your brain for something to say.

But wait, you think.  It has to be something clever.  Something to spark up an interesting conversation.  Maybe something to get her to laugh.  Of course I have to communicate that I’m confident too…

The expectations we set for ourselves as men are so high.

We need to keep the conversation going.

We need to let a woman know when we’re attracted to her so that we don’t end up in the “friend zone.”

We need to show her that we’re a “high status” kind of guy.

We need to be funny, and charming, and authentic, and confident, and–

We “need” to do all of these things, because if we don’t… well then she would never be interested.

She will reject us, and we will have failed.

 

“What Can I Say to Get Her Attracted to Me?”

Modern single men are exposed to a barrage of information on women, dating, and sex: advice from friends, dating websites, pickup forums, e-books, YouTube videos, you name it.

Learn Pick-Up TechniquesWe learn all about the right and the wrong things to do.

We read about strong body language and voice tone.

We practice starting conversations by asking for a woman’s opinion on a random topic.

We learn how to be a challenge so that we don’t look too needy.

We get up the courage look her in the eyes and tell her she’s beautiful.

We convince ourselves that “we’re the gift, she’s not the gift,” so that we feel less intimidated…

Armed with these new tools he’s learned, modern man goes back to the bar (or coffee shop)–but this time, he actually starts a few conversations with women that go pretty well.  Maybe he even gets some phone numbers.

“Hey, this stuff really works!” he says.

But then one evening, standing at the other end of the room, he sees her.  He sees the woman he really likes.  The woman he wants to get to know more than anyone else in the room.

I have to talk to her, he thinks to himself.

His heart starts pounding.

His mind starts racing.

He’s learned exactly what to say.  He’s learned exactly what to do.   Now it’s time to take action.

And yet… he does nothing.

He stands there.  And does nothing.

He’s too intimidated.

Maybe he gathers enough courage to walk over and start a conversation.  He tells her how beautiful she is, or he challenges her in conversation… but she’s not impressed.  And she’s definitely not interested.

She may go along in a lukewarm conversation, but then he becomes nervous and can’t ask for her phone number.

Or he gets her number, but when he tries to contact her later in the week she simply ignores his texts and calls.

Or, after much effort, he finally gets her on a date, but at the end of the night he just can’t seem to go in for the kiss.  Maybe he tries to kiss her–to which she takes a step back, looks up at him painfully, and says, “Um, let’s just…be friends.”

And so it is:

He knows how to talk to women.  He can even get phone numbers and dates.  But he just can’t connect with the women he’s really attracted to.

 

Pick-Up Techniques Will Not Help You Grow

Even with all the right things he’s learned to say, all the techniques he’s tried, and all the self-help ways of thinking, he still can’t succeed with the women he is truly, deeply attracted to.

It’s funny how the women we’re really attracted to don’t fall for the act.  It’s funny how they see right through the lines and the games.

There is a reason for this.  There is a fear lurking that he has been covering up.  It is his deepest fear.

Deep down inside, he knows the truth about himself: If she found out who he really was, what he was really thinking, how he really acts at home… she would never be interested in him.

If she knew how much online porn I watch…

If she knew that I was a fat kid in high school…

If she knew I didn’t have sex until I was 25…

If she knew that I had to use a line or an “opener” just to get the confidence to go talk to her…

If she knew I had to convince myself that I’m the prize (and she’s not) just to boost my self-esteem…

Deep down inside, he knows one thing: the way he has presented himself until now is all lies.

He knows that in reality, she is the prize.  He knows that he had to rely on some rehearsed line because he didn’t have the guts to just walk over and say “Hello”.  He knows that he had to act cocky just to portray to her that he isn’t needy.

What he really wants to be able to do is walk over, say something smooth, and blow her away with his presence and personality until she says, “You’re the man I’ve been waiting for my whole life,” and jumps into his lap right then and there.

But that’s just a fantasy…

If only she got to know me better, she might be attracted to me, he thinks.  But what if she isn’t? 

We are too weak to expose our true selves, and we can’t let her know it.

Why women like Ryan GoslingInstead, we pretend like we’re not intimidated and we’re not insecure.  We learn “fake” confidence: how to maintain eye contact, how to have a witty conversation, how to be cocky and not needy, how to touch her the right way to “escalate” the interaction to a sexual level.

We do all of these things to finally prove that we have what it takes.  Yet in the end, we remain just as afraid of exposing ourselves as we were before we learned anything at all.

We run up to a complete stranger and tell her how beautiful she is—not because really we feel like saying it at that moment, but because we don’t know how else to express our interest.

We touch her leg during a date–not because we desire to touch her leg at that moment, but because we were afraid to express our true desires from the beginning.  Now we need a technique to “escalate” our hidden intentions–our sexual intentions–that we’ve been hiding.

We don’t feel comfortable exposing our sexual intentions because we were never comfortable exposing what we really wanted in the first place.

If you cannot expose how you truly feel about yourself as a man, how can you expose what you truly desire as a man?

We have missed the most important thing:  We never accepted what we are really afraid of.

Accepting Our Fears

The fact is that we are intimidated because she is pretty.

Yet we hide our intimidation out of fear that we will be exposed–fear that she will know the truth about us.

We feel insecure, we’d be ashamed if she ever found out that a man (a man as inferior as us) is sexually attracted to her.

That shame destroys our ability to build any true and lasting inner confidence.

When we hide our fears, they grow.

That’s the way it is, and that’s why it remains so difficult for a man to connect with a woman he is truly, deeply attracted to.

When a man is in the presence of a woman he is truly attracted to, all of those fears and insecurities he spent so much time concealing and running from come creeping back to the surface.

There is nowhere for a man to hide who has not faced his own intimidation and insecurities.  Because he has not faced them, he has never been able to understand them and, in turn, overcome them.  She senses this imbalance in him instantly, and she is not interested in what he has to offer.

So he returns home—another mediocre night out, another text message never responded to, another date without a spark—and retreats back to learn another technique to attract women by pretending like his fears and insecurities never existed in the first place.

The cure to our problems with women is not learning what to say or how to act.

She is not interested in how you act.  She is interested in who you are.

We first must understand why we are afraid, because that allows us to see who we are.  From there we can start to understand who we want to become.

The first step in curing the issue is discovering the actual source of the issue.

What is the Source of Our Fear?

Our inner fear is not a hard-wired instinct designed to keep us alive.  It’s not a fear that her boyfriend is lurking around the corner, waiting to beat us up for hitting on her.  Those are excuses we make so we don’t have to face the real issue.

The real anxiety that a man faces before approaching (or kissing, or getting a number from) a woman he’s attracted to is that he’s afraid of what she is going to think about him.  That is all.

We don’t actually want her opinion on “Hey, who cheats more, men or women?”  We don’t want to tell her how beautiful she is for the sole purpose of getting over our fears.  We don’t want to act cocky or challenging.  Yet we think we have to do all of these things.

In reality, we just want to talk to her.  We want to get to know who she is.  We want to be open, and in return we want her to appreciate us for exactly who we are.

But what if we say something stupid?

What if she finds out what we’re really thinking?

What if she thinks we’re pathetic for even thinking we had a chance to have sex with her?

What if people around us see that she rejected us, and we didn’t have what it takes after all?

What if we were open and honest, and we presented her with the whole truth about who we are—and she still said no?

It would confirm our deepest fear: Maybe we just are not good enough after all.

Maybe we don’t have what it takes to get the girl we desire.

That is a rejection many men cannot handle.

And without realizing it, he has just given her the power to validate (and invalidate) who he is as a man.


This was the second article of the four-part “Men’s Guide to Meeting Women”.  Continue to the third article: The Illusion of Physical Beauty.

22 Responses to “Our Deepest Fear: What Prevents Men From Connecting With Women?”

  1. Petr

    Alright I agree with something, but I got some notes. “Pick-Up Techniques Will Not Help You Grow” I dont agree at all, if I never discover pickup, Im still sitting on my bed, watching porn and Im afraid just to speak with anyone especially womens. What do you recommend me instead of “pickup”? If I exposed my true myself few years ago (virgin, pc gamer, boring conversationalist, not sexy) do you think she will be amazed? No way, one looser from millions. My favorite quote is “fake it till you make it”. “She is not interested in how you act. She is interested in who you are.” No, if you amazing person (like me 🙂 but acting boring, no eye contact, no teasing (few years ago I fake it, now its my natural way to act) she see what she see and refuse you for your acting no for your persona. I agree you have to understand your fears, thats great way how to challenge it. “In reality, we just want to talk to her.” When I first saw her, I know only how Im sexually attracted to her, but if I came to her and say you looks great I want sex with you (yeah its work someone sometimes) its open and honest, but totally selfish and thats not good way to start. Nice book about this is Feel the fear … and do it anyway.

    Reply
    • Shogo

      Shogo

      I’ve heard that’s a great book…”Pickup” is fine to learn from–it’s not evil, and everyone–even the pickup guys–have valuable ideas to share.

      If it makes sense to you, then by all means, please pursue what resonates with you most.

      Everything we learn will have its limitations, however. Once we hit a wall when we are no longer growing the way we desire, it’s time to move on.

      Reply
    • Hem

      Great post. I decided 18 mnhots ago to give up on sex and wait. The reason was in Jan. 2010, I was set up on a blind date. I was instantly drawn to him. It took every energy I had not to sleep with. Our date lasted seven incredible hours and by the end the week, we were lovers. I felt like I was a dream for the first four mnhots until I found out something. He was still married. When I called it off, let just say words were exchange. I couldnt believe it. He was judging me for having sex with him. Now, Im talking to a wonderful guy. I was sick all last week and he called me everyday. We go out breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We both love dancing. I find myself thinking of sex now. All the time. Yes, I believe that women enjoy talking about sex with men. However, for me, too afraid to be judge.

      Reply
    • Lil

      Given your situation and your interests, I would try to befriend autistic women and practice being yourself around women who will be highly logical, fair, and 100% honest with you. We make a great wingman, since we will learn from you too.
      To every other probably good man on here who cannot figure “what women want” out: it is assertiveness that we women ultimately find attractive.
      Assertiveness training can help develop your self-worth through hard work, and honesty through action that supports what you say; all of which set you apart from the “boys” in our minds– versus relying on looks that will fade with age. Assertiveness communicates: “I know who I am, and my self-worth comes from being a real man who takes initiative, not from you. I say what I mean, and mean what I say!” That is truly what women “want.” That said, if you don’t get that in return, she’s a “girl.”

      Reply
  2. Max

    Great post man! I can personally relate to the idea that no matter how much “game” you’ve developed you will have to express your true self with the girl you truly want most. I’ve been able to attract countless hot girls & it’s easy for me to be my confident self around them to create arousal. However with that one girl, it’s felt like a whole different experience when I’m around her.

    I will take to heart what you shared her & embrace expressing my true self more – rather than trying to be pickupy which hasn’t been a settling experience thus far. It makes sense that to build an authentic relationship – whether long term or just intimate – takes showing up as authentic as you want to bond to be. Thanks for your powerful insights & inspiration!

    Reply
    • Shogo

      Shogo

      Great insight Max! It’s true: we know it’s time to grow in other areas beyond “attracting hot girls” when it just feels different with that one woman.

      It’s because we are aching to express ourselves to her to our fullest–all of our strengths and talents, along with all of our our weaknesses and insecurities.

      Expressing our full selves will enhance every experience with her: whether it’s the first conversation, while having sex, in a relationship, or simply sitting together in each other’s company.

      Reply
      • Maritza

        “All of old. Nothing else ever. Ever tried. Ever failed. No mtetar. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” Samuel Beckett

        Reply
    • Riasat

      i think your on the money here.. i myself am shy and will never rellay talk about sex ever around women.. out of respect i guess.. as i was brought up to think sex was a bad thing not to be talked about. i current work in a department store with 80% women and have have noticed alot.. the guys that talk openly about sex get all the attention from the girls.. i want to be as open and free as them but i find it rellay hard to talk about even myself never mind sex lol Its like you and david say all the time your this amazing dynamic person around all your mates then around others the monkey chatter ruins it all. on the blog.. the sexiest things are the simpliest for me like running my fingers throu a womens hair when im kissing her or just feeling her curves as i dance with her around my apartment..enjoy the journey and take as long as i can to reach the desination. have a good weekend shogo and fellow bloggers

      Reply
  3. amman

    hey man,
    I like your article but I have a few questions. Like the Petr was saying…if you do see a girl and like…and want to have sex with her…how else can you express it other than in subtle ways such as touching her legs/maintaining strong eye contact etc…i know you say its because were too scared to say it in the beginning…but if we did…do you not think that would be too much too soon?

    How can i express my desires from the beginning authentically without coming on too strong?

    still a great article btw Shogun…really got me thinking…

    Reply
    • Yuka

      I’m with Paula on this one! How have you been doing, girl? I haven’t seen you here lately.Anyway..As usual, Shogo is on point! You get it! Women are just as horny, just as frkaey, and just as DTF as men are (given the right context; that depends on the woman!) Not to be vulgar, but I’m just keeping it 100 percent! I don’t mind talking about anything sexual; the problem is that some guys get it twisted and think that I’m going to sleep with them just because I’m sexually liberated. I’m actually a pretty selective freak. Though I want to be the very best at sex when I have it! Generally speaking, I’d rather make love with a man who I truly care about (preferably in a relationship, but that depends). I want to be with someone who is very comfortable with his body, his sexuality, and has a healthy appetite’ that can keep up with mine! Sadly, it seems that more men can’t walk the talk these days. Or, maybe they’re just intimidated by a woman who knows what she wants, both in and out of bed! And no, I’m not the overly aggressive type. I’m cool with doing without sex for a while. When a woman makes love, she’s sharing something very sacred, something special and potent. It’s not something that should be abused, taken for granted, or shared with just anyone. Smart men know and understand this. And us women shouldn’t just allow any guy to enter our bodies! There’s a difference between being libidinous and actually carrying out the act.

      Reply
    • Stephanie

      I don’t understand how you say “We touch her leg during a date–not because we desire to touch her leg at that moment, but because we were afraid to express our true desires from the beginning. Now we need a technique to “escalate” our hidden intentions–our sexual intentions–that we’ve been hiding.

      We don’t feel comfortable exposing our sexual intentions because we were never comfortable exposing what we really wanted in the first place.”
      While one the other hand you say “In reality, we just want to talk to her. We want to get to know who she is. We want to be open, and in return we want her to appreciate us for exactly who we are”

      You want to be open and for her to know you for who you are but you fear you will be rejected because “What if she thinks we’re pathetic for even thinking we had a chance to have sex with her?

      How is it that a man can say he wants to get to know a woman because he wants to have sex with her? he could only be honest by saying he wants to get to know her sexually. It seems to me that men have learned how to get to know women well enough to know what to say to get sex period. Unfortunately its rarely true. If she doesn’t have sex with him because she wants to make sure of who he really is and if he is really interested in her then he feels rejected and invalidated as a man.

      I find it invalidating as a woman to think someone wants to get to know me when in reality they just want to have sex with me. It’s not flattering and pretty much a given that most all men want to have sex with me. I don’t get how men can base their confidence on their ability to bed a beautiful woman. Especially when if she does have sex with them they feel she is invalidating her self worth.

      We are disgusted that a man like you would even think he could have sex with us. We are disgusted that you feel invalidated as a man when we don’t because we want and need more than your desire to use us for your sexual gratification and an ego stroke.

      So which is it? If men could be open and honest would you really want to get to know us and for us to know you? Or would you just like to say we made your dick twitch and you couldn’t help but already undress us in your mind and you’d feel pretty manly if we would let you do it in person. Rare is the man who is confident enough to be willing to take the time to be open and honest so you can get to know each other. Most men are to focused on how a woman looks and how much he wants to have sex with her to even consider there is something more to a woman to get to know.

      I understand that men don’t want to have to feel bad for being sexually attracted to a woman. At the same time women are expected to feel bad if they allow a man to act on that attraction or even fall for all the pick up lines he may use to get a woman to be attracted to him. Let alone not be slut shamed if we have a sex drive and physical attraction of our own. Do you think women don’t feel rejected simply by men only wanting to get to know us because of how we look? It’s pretty invalidating to assume someone wants to and is getting to know you when in all honesty they just want to have sex with you. But they lie to you out of fear of being rejected by you sexually. Why would men care if they are rejected by the women they just want to shag? I think men are obviously afraid that they have nothing more to offer a woman their feelings run no deeper than their carnal desires and their ego. So they objectify women try to find ways to get women to objectify them. Then wonder why no one is developing any true self worth regardless of how many beautiful women they conquer or how many people they attract.

      But men can feel like men the more they conquer. Women on the other hand are seen as less of a woman the more men she has sex with. In reality if a woman gives you the opportunity to get to know her and wants to get to know you? You probably will be rejected sexually. It’s always best to be honest about your intentions. Just don’t take it personally if you tell a woman your intentions are to have sex with her because you find her beautiful/sexually attractive and she doesn’t find it validating enough to comply. Men would get rejected a lot less if they sincerely wanted to get to know a woman for who she is instead of because of how she looks. Women shouldn’t have to feel that we are letting a man disrespect us if he touches our body. But unfortunately thats the way it is due to mens intentions. Either way someone is going to be rejected after sex if that is what the main intention was for “getting to know” someone.

      Reply
  4. michael

    hi Shogo,
    I have seen your videos and I have one question for you. I am male and I am 21 years old. Two weeks ago i ask a girl for her number and then she gave me her facebook id. I start conversation on facebook but she never reply back then after that i unfriend her because i was start loosing concentration on my work, i was just thinking about her and now last sunday i go to the place where she work but i didn’t say anything about facebook just sitting on the bench and wait for my order and when my order get ready she smiled at me as she is still interested. Now, she block me on facebook. I want to know that What is the right thing to do right now?

    Reply
  5. Danny

    that last part

    Maybe we don’t have what it takes to get the girl we desire.
    That is a rejection many men cannot handle.
    And without realizing it, he has just given her the power to validate (and invalidate) who he is as a man.

    I wasn’t sure what that meant it felt like it was supposed to be a good thing like I was able to resolve something but….. does that mean that by allowing someone to validate and invalidate me as a man is a good thing?

    Reply
  6. Umberto

    Wow man, I felt so described on your descriptions about the deep fears. Besides having no problem to speak guys, although I have hard times to relate to people when I have certain moods, I have too much (having sex with my mind) about beautiful girls, it is so shocking because years ago I was rejected by a girl during my first grade of middle school because I was the bullied one and no attractive. Man my body blocks and my mind shouts down, I don’t know what to say, petrified. I still not give up even though I have goosebumps when I even think of one situation with a beautiful girl.

    Reply
    • John

      You would? For centuries that is what men did River, to indicate that he could be a good provider yet you find this a taboo? Do you want men to be low-tone-of-voice wimps only speaking when you wish to converse? If so, quit watching so many Clint Eastwood westerns because that kind of role playing isn’t normal; the mysterious man…what a joke…a man must speak in order to be a decent father, whether modern day women like it or not. Studies have shown that it has gotten so bad that every 3 1/2 words that females say, men say One. Talk about selfish intimidation and/or domination.

      Reply
  7. River

    “And without realizing it, he has just given her the power to validate (and invalidate) who he is as a man.”

    This is what happens when you mix your gender identity with your sexuality. What a woman thinks does not change who you are as a man, you are one man out of many. Men think manhood is a contest when its just a biological fact and are basing their social status around women. It needs to stop.

    Women dont like rejection either, so we dont bother doing any approaching at all, and we have things set up so we dont have to. Some women fear rejection so much they dont even give a signal to men, and its why they pretend they are not interested until he makes it clear he is by perusing her. A problem with this is it teaches men to push womens boundaries, it becomes hard for him to know if she is playing that game, or if she is just not interested.

    I dont think women base their identity as a woman on if men like them or not though, many based how attractive they are as a woman on it. In the past most people met when they were young, and with there friends and before they had time to develop too many hang ups etc. Most people were looking for someone before they were 25, so yesterdays way of getting together worked then. Today it wont work, today everything is more individualistic and grouping the sexes into two boxes no longer is valid. Both sexes fear similar things, but have grown up to deal with them different, both sexes fear rejection and today it appears men as a group are in a bad position. They are still doing the work but with yesterdays tools, like for example showing your status and challenging her in conversations may have worked in the past, but a lot of women today may be put off by it.

    There was a guy i liked in the gym i go to, and what i liked about him was how intune with his emotional side he seemed, and how unlike most other men he seemed. Of course i never let him know i liked him, bc ive not been socialized to approach etc. Over time hes become more like other men, and i can tell he is really trying to fit the expectations and failing, hes there trying to build up, trying to act confident around the other men, flaunting his job and wheres hes been. But when he does not try, his real side reappears, a side society would considered only appropriate for women but he actually is stronger because of it. Over the last year, it seems to be fading, and he is set to become just like most men end up. He already had a great mix of traits, he has male beauty but also has enough of whats expected of a man to not be considered “effeminate” in appearance.

    I can bet that bc of the way society is, women overlook him and will do until he becomes society’s definition of a man and even then he may still lose out because he wont be coming from his true base and women can sense that a mile off. Its likely a man more intune with his feelings will be more hurt by rejection too, unlike the men who are just naturally the wankers they are expected to be and can go around not caring about rejection bc they dont care about much at all.

    Whats attractive in either gender is highly shaped by culture, more so when it comes to personality traits and behaviours and less so when it comes to looks.

    This concept of needy, its just there to punish men for their emotions. While men are thinking about these things, women are there thinking they are not good enough. A lot is mentioned here about beautiful women, well evidence shows women who fit that definition are quite insecure about how they look, and maybe the fact men are scared to approach them leads to the emotional part of their brain registering it as them not being attractive enough. Women assess themselves in relation to men on this level, and they will avoid men who seem as if they could get better thinking he wont stay around, so if you big yourself up too much this could happen.

    Self assessments are the problem, we should be deciding if we like the other person and not if we are good enough for them, because its up to them to decide that. If we are not, then they can get lost, thats the short answer to rejection but its hard to get to using that approach towards someone you like.

    Reply
    • John

      Women cannot spend 5 decades competing with men in the workplace, and end up coming ever closer to taking it over (52 % workforce) without expecting many men to walk away from them as with MGTOW. Women now must ask men out because many men just won’t do this like they use to when this “Career” competition wasn’t THEE issue of Identity. Feminists created it and so extend their Equality beyond getting that Career to other venues like Asking men out; especially when it’s often the case they have more money than men but, not to worry because since most men will say Yes to being asked out, they will also not expect women to pay River > it’s a win win deal for the women once again. Think not? Ask Cougars who can go out all dolled up and easily find a man who will say Yes (not just to sex). Are young women more attractive than Cougars?

      Reply
  8. topista

    Equally women fear rejection in the sense that by the time she o penned her heart to you its complete.a minute she senses rejection she may not be hardener type of person she will shun away with a lot of haunting in her heart and may hate you even though you make a come back.

    Reply
  9. John

    1. If one takes stats as to how many men get rejected and. by how many females they ask out, the numbers would be staggering…ever watch the TV show Blind Date? The number of men who would go on another date were high while for females, very low so there you go.
    2. Their check list is gotten to the point of being delusions of grandeur, which we hear all the time so this is not anything new.
    3. What about Equality? This is suppose to mean women = men; yet they only apply this to anything that relates to Academic admissions, Career opportunities with lots of flexibility, therefore Money $$$ is the Women’s Lib or Feminism target of Equality
    4. As an adjunct to this, most human resources officers are females and so the fear of females being rejected is much less going for a Job, than the same females asking a man out…the only time you see them risk this is when they are drinking at bars to get drinks purchased for them.
    5. It has gotten so younger men don’t fear rejection; they fear what comes after a possible yes, to their financial situation.
    6. Speaking of which, many women have more $$$ than men so why should men foot the bill. This is immoral keeping your own money stashed away while HE who has less gives you a free ride.

    Western cultural relationships are getting worse every passing day, with no hope for changing. I’ve heard of MGTOW just recently, and I can see why younger men (even middle aged) can’t take it anymore. For those females who still wonder why? How would you like to be assessed by how much money you make? What material toys do you own? What is your position at work? Do you have a degree? And these questions come not just from women who make less, but high profile Career triple figures females. This conditional “I will share my body only if he has these things going for him”, isn’t love. I swear that women who have pets, show more love for them than men.

    I come from perhaps the most loving big family in a small town with a wonderful father and mother however, getting married or risking a child, is something very risky for men today. There is less pain involved with remaining single. And saying Man Up when the same women should have Womaned Up years ago, will only drive men even further from females. Lesbian feminists don’t care about this so beware of them because they comprise a good portion of feminists. Why else would they dislike men so much?

    Reply
  10. Pete

    You know why we are interested in what she thinks? At least some of the men are?
    You should read Freud then you will come to realize that Oedipus Complex is the reason behind it.
    Dont just assume things ” he’s afraid of what she is going to think about him” .. Why are some people afraid and some other are not afraid? Why some people are afraid more and some less? Genes is one factor. But something that is superior to genes is nurture how you were brought up. Do you really think that all these ISIS would kill if they were brought up in a different society? NO.

    Coming back to our subject here. Its the subconsious mind of all the external stimulus you had been accepting (or not) as a child. It has to do with your mother or a parental figure you had in mind if you did not have a mother. Look at your relationship with your mother. Throygh actions you can solve your fear of women. Its not fear. ITS GUILT. Thats right. GUILT. Listen to me go to a good clinical psychologist and explore your unconsious and all the frustrations you had as a child. If you think i am wrong think of a friend of yours or a guy you know. Why is he good with women? Its because his environment was differnt. Everyones environment is different. If you really want to overcome this fear and not suffer guilt trust me go to a clinical psychologist or overcome it by actions only.

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